Gay Ten Commandments BY SIMON DOONAN

1. Don't let your happiness be contingent on anyone else's
approval or disapproval.

tell any detractors where they can shove their negativity.

And if that doesn't work, move to a bigger town.

2. Be as nelly or as butch as you want to be.
Whether it's a
teacup pohauhua or a Bakelite butt plug, let your accessories express who you
are.

REMEMBER: We are a RAINBOW.

3. Get a job. Get two jobs.

There's nothing noble or fabulous about being broke,

and there's nothing more alienating and disempowering

than having no disposable income.

4. Avoid becoming a substance abusing lunatic:

Spend your money on Jet-Skis and fab vacations and spiffy new
clothes.

5. It's totally okay not to be an expert on politics and
international policy.

There are too many people today-especially movie celebs-

pretending they know what they're talking about.

If you have a question about current affairs, consult an expert.

6. Don't become a slave to the gym unless you really, really,
really enjoyit.

Life is too short. Some kind of exercise is important. Better to
take tango lessons.

Skipping is also great exersice.

(Not recomended if you don't really have a partner.)

7. When you meet somebody great, tear off your brassiere
(metephorically)

and scream from the nearest mountaintop.

Don't be coy. Don't strategize. Don't play hide and seek:
surrender!

8. Don't be a victim-y gay.

For example, stop complaining about how, when you were growing
up, you never saw yourself on TV because there were no decent role models.
Always look at things in a positive way: Be glad that you are part of a small
special group that was largely ignored by the cheesy sitcoms and that you got to
spend your entire childhood watching hets make idiots out of themselves in front
of a TV audience.

9. Say yes to all invitations.

10. It might take years to get the mariage thingy approved.

In the meantime remember that you, as a fabulous person of
queerness,

are still ahead of the game.

You are one of the chosen people.

Unlike a straight person, you are free, free to stay down on the
farm or free

to move to the big city and spread your wings, free to
self-invent,

free to wear marabou.